Before I start, I apologize for sounding so arrogant today, looking back at how I acted in front of you, I might have gotten too carried away with my confidence. I hope I know what I am doing, but I also wish you know what you are getting yourself into. I am still haunted by my past, and I do not want history to repeat itself, but I want to pick myself up too. Anyways, I haven't been writing lately, school work has been keeping me really busy. But after today, I cannot delay this post anymore. In my archives, I have a piece titled "make love to me if you wish". But that was the beginning, the flirtatious texts, the intimate conversations. Here we are now, we did it, we kissed, I got to taste your lips again, your beautiful slim lips, it has a deep feminine allure to it. I've been wanting to do this again, and this time we did it right, sort of. In my mind, I've imagined numerous different scenarios on how our intimacy would play out. I never thought it would happen at the Carpark, at the last moment. But that moment, I thought I saw your eye lit up, just before it shut close, just before our lips met. That look that you gave me, it was extremely sexy. After our embrace, you offered to drop me off at my block, we were in the car, when you started mumbling about how this kiss meant nothing to me, about how I would forget all this by tonight. I assure you, I won't, I will not for a very long time, after all, I think I am a rather sentimental person, after all, I do have a dairy, occasions, thoughts, moments, I pen them all down. So darling don't despair, I won't forget you. You also asked me whether my confession "I would love to make love with you" was true. I couldn't answer. I'm afraid of saying the wrong things, cause words may vary in gravity to different people, and as much as I can, I do not want to hurt anybody emotionally again. Sex is just an action/activity, making love involves emotions, which is something much more complex, I totally agree with you on this. But ironically, I do not believe that "making love" necessarily meant love was involved, no doubt it will be ideal, but life isn't always ideal. I believe, however, lust is the definite emotion attached to "making love". So according to my perspective, I do agree that what I said was true. And please don't get the idea that sex/making love, doesn't mean a thing for me. I did have sex with someone I didn't see a future with, with someone I didn't love, but that doesn't mean the experience wasn't exhilarating. Of course I alive being intimate, else why would people pursue it. Besides, I am sexually open, not sexually active, nor passionately active. When our lips met, my heart was racing fast, my skin was radiating lust, my senses overwhelmed. Anyways, you won today, that look you gave me, that kiss you gave me, intense!
p.s. pardon my dry lips and my bad kissing, this kiss wasn't perfect yet, if you wish to, lets do it again, this time, perfect.
