I cannot deny it, it feels as if my heart has been shattered, my head is spinning, numbness is coursing through my veins, and chills is spreading across my skin. I didn't know I was this fragile. Please don't see this as a guilt trap, this is what I genuinely feel like now, there is no peppering it up, nor diluting it down. All my words tonight were genuine too, unfortunately it has brought us to this predicament, and I'm so sorry if those words have hurt you.
Isn't it such an irony, we both wanting to shower each other with love, affection and concern, when we ourselves couldn't love ourselves. I thought I would be a much better lover than this, obviously I thought wrongly and too highly of myself. I didn't wanted to write anything, especially when I couldn't bring myself to say anything to you just now. This could be such a bitter ending, I never thought that it would end like this, but then again, life never plays out the way you imagined it to, doesn't it.
It was your lips that drew me close to you, but it was your being that kept close by. You are such a beautiful and strong individual, both exterior and interior, I really hope that I helped you see that in yourself.
I also have got to thank you, because I have learnt so much about myself, and I now know where to improve on, how to change for the better. Loving myself more, I will try my very best to do so.
I still don't know what to say, or what to do. Maybe I will tomorrow. Maybe you could tell me too. Please do help me too.
… and please, I beg of you, don't say that I am looking forward to the ending, that sentence keeps replaying in my mind, and it is absolutely heart wrenching, every single time I hear it.
