We had our first argument today. You were pretty upset over the fact that I would do drugs again. Under your fiery temper, I couldn't substantiate my stance, I screwed up.
I understand where you are coming from and I thank you for your concern. I have tried putting myself in your shoes, and I think I know how you feel. I matter to you, and you want to keep me safe, away from harm's way. Unable to do so, you feel frustrated, especially so when it is me putting myself in danger.
I truly am sorry for making you feel this way. I feel uneasy seeing that I have made you unhappy, and I really want to rectify the problem. However, I try not to make promises that I cannot keep. Some fine day I would stumble across these substances again, and I cannot say definitely that I would not touch them. Would I take them? I don't know really.
I could tell you reasons why I would do drugs again, but it will only
sound extremely foolish to your ears. You would have to understand my
perspective, my morals, the way I live. But don't get me wrong, I am not
justifying that what I am doing is right.
It would be great if you could see/understand my point of
view, however, I think that would be difficult, because I would have to
change your whole outlook on what is right and what is wrong, your moral
standings, and how you would want your life to play out.
And beside darling, don't waste your emotions and concern on me.
