My grandfather is getting on in years. From my earliest recollection of him, he used to be an idealistic big old man with minimal hair on his head and a husky voice. Whenever I came over, he would tour me around his beautifully rustic garden and read to me chinese storybooks. Some days we would have interesting conversations about all the ideas he had in mind. Those days were many years ago. Now, he is much older, as old as he will ever be. He can no longer walk a lot anymore, instead, he shuffles his heavy feets across short distances. He has no control of his bladder anymore, and the stench of urine follows him everywhere. He no longer talks freely anymore, just ask, and answer questions now. The saddest part is that no one converse with him anymore, no one respects him anymore. Seeing my grandfather a reminder of my mortality, that someday I may grow old and feeble, and my physical and mental capability would fail me, and I would no longer be living, and all that is left is an empty vessel awaiting death. It would be my worst nightmare to end up in that state, and all I wish for is a dignified death.
This trip, I also wondered about singularity. I have heard many stories of successful people with immense wealth, but are alone in the world. I can only imagine the loneliest they feel. To come home to an empty home. To have dinner alone on Chinese New Year eve. To have the whole bed to themselves. It may not sound like a bad scenario, but I think we can never fully empathize with these people. We are fortunate to have companionship most of our life, and we all take for granted our family and friends. Recently I have been becoming increasingly materialistic. I fear that I may end up a lonely man, with nothing to look forward to, nobody to turn to. And I would be empty, just like an empty vessel, awaiting death. I scares me really.
All that free time in Malaysia makes my mind wonder a little.
This trip, I also wondered about singularity. I have heard many stories of successful people with immense wealth, but are alone in the world. I can only imagine the loneliest they feel. To come home to an empty home. To have dinner alone on Chinese New Year eve. To have the whole bed to themselves. It may not sound like a bad scenario, but I think we can never fully empathize with these people. We are fortunate to have companionship most of our life, and we all take for granted our family and friends. Recently I have been becoming increasingly materialistic. I fear that I may end up a lonely man, with nothing to look forward to, nobody to turn to. And I would be empty, just like an empty vessel, awaiting death. I scares me really.
All that free time in Malaysia makes my mind wonder a little.
