You said that I seemed unhappy with you lately. Well. That isn't true, but that isn't untrue either. I am just unhappy. Lately there have been plenty on my mind. I am very much of a thinker, and thoughts sometime can affect me adversely.
Sunday was particularly unsettling for me, as I was worried for you, to add on, I wasn't there when you needed me.
It was amazing to be reunited with you on monday, but it was so difficult to ask you out, almost seemed like you were hesitant to meet me. But I had a delightful time when I met you, and I won't forget the hug that you gave me when we met.
Tuesday you were bothered by the rollerblades issue, apart from that you were frustrated when I denied your sexual advances. Honestly, I am dying to make love with you. But I do not want to put you in through hell again. Please do see it in my perspective and appreciate my willpower. Nonetheless it was an enjoyable time with you, especially that nap we took together, you in my arms.
I felt as if I was intruding on you and Reuben's personal time, and you did reveal quite a bit during the drive home.. But nonetheless it was a pleasure getting to know him better, so thank you for the night. And I still do remember you saying before turning in, "thank you calvin, you are the best." Although I do question the authenticity of that statement (because I did tell you that I wanted to be your best just a day ago), still, it did give me the warm fuzzy feeling.
I didn't want to tell you that my uncle passed away, because I knew if you knew, guilt would consume you, but I not making it for his funeral isn't your fault. My uncle was someone rather close to my family, and his demise shocked and saddened all of us. You were sharp, and your glares were sharper. I tried to keep it a secret, but I couldn't resist your pleads, just know that darling it is not you fault. Thursday was fun though, especially with the lories.
I really wanted to spend some quality private time with you on friday, perhaps baking or cooking. But I found you perplexed about your opinions on sex. I understand where you are coming from, but darling, it is kind of confusing me a little, especially so when later on, you became very frustrated when I declined your sexual advances. Nonetheless it was an enjoyable day, thank you!
And I don't have much time left with you darling. Hopefully we could squeeze a little private time next week!
This post isn't intended to make you feel guilty, please please please don't be alright, instead, I guess it is my way of sharing. That pretty much sums up everything in my mind now, hopefully it helps you understand me better.
